By Savannah Francis

So you’ve been single with herpes for a little while, none of your friends are aware of the fact that you have herpes – but insist that it’s time for you to get out and start dating again. Being the caring friends that they are, they set you up on a blind date. Now in your mind, this is the worst thing that could possibly happen – however you decide to go on this date anyway as to not embarrass your friends. The date seems to be progressing well, but now you are faced with one question – should you tell your date that you have herpes?

First, let’s get a few herpes facts out of the way:

1. Herpes is spread through skin to skin contact, this includes kissing as well. If you have herpes of the mouth, you can spread it by kissing.

2. Herpes can be spread even when you show no outward signs of an outbreak.

3. Herpes of the mouth can be transmitted to the genitals during oral sex.

Now that you have been reminded of how herpes is spread, let’s answer the question of how and if you should tell your date. Although the herpes virus poses no threat to life, the disease is still very much misunderstood and demonized. Herpes is often the butt of the joke amongst the younger generations and this can make disclosing your status very uncomfortable. Unless and until you are very comfortable with the fact that you have herpes, it is not necessary to out yourself on the first date.

Before you consider telling a potential new partner about your herpes status there are a few things that you may want to think about:

1. Trust: Can you trust this person? No matter how comfortable you are with your herpes situation, not everyone needs to know that you are infected with the virus. If you tell this person, can you trust that they will keep it in confidence and not try to humiliate you amongst mutual friends or strangers?

2. Is there a future: Even though it’s just a first date, you have to ask yourself if you really see any future dates with this person. If you’re pretty certain that there won’t be any more dates, then save yourself the trouble. However if you believe there will be multiple dates afterward know that you will eventually need to tell your new friend about your oral or genital herpes.

Not every date leads to a relationship or intimacy, so you should not feel compelled to talk about herpes until you have really confirmed whether or not there is any long term potential. If the idea of dating outside of the herpes community scares you – there are dozens of online herpes dating sites available. Visit herpes dating advice today for more tips.

Additional Reading:

Positive Single – Support site for herpes members.

Stop Herpes Now and From Coming Back For Good by Dr David Hoggs

By Andy Clerk

Dating someone with herpes might be a little off particularly to those who do not have herpes at all. But how do you exactly know if you have herpes or not? According to studies, almost 90% of herpes infected individuals do not exactly have the awareness that they already incurred the disease. Since mild herpes do not actually have symptoms, unless the outbreak comes out or you have yourself tested, this will be the only time you will know you have one.

As herpes can be transmitted in many different ways, the big question falls on this? “Is it safe to date someone with herpes”? In actual fact, dating someone with herpes requires the identification of the severity of the disease itself. Although it is awkward to ask someone concerning this type of infection, a thin line between taking heed and curing herpes and those people that do not provide treatments at all will all determine the disparities.

If someone you are dating has herpes for a long period of time and is undergoing medical treatments, doing the deed with a protection will somehow make a difference weigh against sleeping with someone who doesn’t have an inkling of having herpes and definitely is not doing anything to cure it.

Dating someone with herpes need not be a big issue. Even if this disease is tagged along with a dim-witted stigma for it being a form of a sexually transmitted disease, do you think you have laid yourself open to greater risk without the discernment between sleeping with a person curing herpes and the one who have unconsciously acquired the disease without providing any treatments at all? You choose.

Additional Reading:

Positive Single – Support site for herpes members.

By Kat Samson

If you or your partner has herpes, the issue of what’s safe and what isn’t in the bedroom can be a confusing one. You will likely read all manner of different ideas and statistics on transmission rates, male versus female infection likelihood, the safety and failure rates of condoms, dental dams, and suppression therapy. The real truth is you can never be 100 percent protected from an infected partner passing herpes on to a non infected partner, but with some common sense and a little forethought before intimacy, you can drastically reduce the risk and a herpes sufferer can still enjoy a fulfilling sex life with a non infected partner.

The first thing to know about having sex during herpes outbreak is, it is not recommended. When you are having an outbreak you are much more likely to shed the virus and pass it on to your partner. Having sex between genital herpes outbreaks is much safer. However if having sex during an outbreak does not pose issues of irritation or soreness to you, or maybe your outbreaks are very frequent, or whatever reason you choose to have relations during an outbreak, here’s how you can reduce the risk.

Firstly, ensure proper protection is used. This means a well fitted condom or a strong dental dam, and be sure to check periodically to make sure it hasn’t slipped or torn during lovemaking. Condoms and dams don’t offer 100 percent protection, but can certainly reduce the risk dramatically.

Secondly, ensure the infected partner is taking a daily antiviral suppressive drug, and has kept up with dosage. These drugs reduce shedding significantly, and combined with the condom or dam, reduce the risk of transmission further.

Thirdly, remember there’s more to sex than penetration. If you are having a flare up, there’s more options for sex during herpes than just vaginal sex. Try mutual masturbation, sex toys, or if the infected partner doesn’t have oral sores, he or she can safely perform oral sex on the other partner.

Overall, remember sex during an outbreak is not recommended, and adds significant risk of transmitting the virus. However, if both partners understand the risk and take the above precautions, the risk can be reduced, and you can enjoy sex during herpes.

Additional Reading:

Stop Herpes Now and From Coming Back For Good by Dr David Hoggs

Cold Sore Freedom in 3 days by Grace Melgarejo

Positive Single – Support site for herpes members.

When you come to terms with your herpes diagnosis, you’ll really need to make a decision about what treatment options you will utilize. If you are single, and intend to date people without herpes – this is doubly important.

As you know, there is no cure to the herpes simplex virus. Although the virus is not deadly or particularly dangerous – it is still incurable. Disclosing your status to any potential sexual partner is a must. There are many within the herpes community who do not feel comfortable dating outside of the “group” – however when dating people who do not have herpes, there are a few things that you can and should do to protect them.

1. Be honest about your outbreaks: Nothing ruins spontaneity like an annoying herpes outbreak! You should consider yourself highly contagious when you are experiencing an outbreak, so it is best to refrain from intercourse during these times.

2. Pay attention to your prodrome symptoms: Part of being honest about your outbreaks involves you knowing when they actually occur. Due to the fact that they aren’t always visible or noticeable – keep track of the symptoms you have immediately before an active outbreak. In other words, are your glands and lymph nodes tender? Do you have any body aches? Abnormal itching? A tingling sensation near your outbreak sites? Knowing your symptoms will give you a better idea of when you may be shedding.

3. Eat healthy: Many people with herpes report increase in outbreaks when they eat certain foods. It is widely known that things like peanuts, caffeine, and even wine can cause the dormant virus to make it’s way to the surface. If certain foods are your triggers, try to avoid them or find alternatives.

4. Take a form of suppressive therapy: We’re sure you’ve seen the cheesy Valtrex commercials – where one person in the couple has herpes, and the other person has not – and it’s been that way for years! As cheesy as they may be, there is an element in truth behind the commercial and the product itself. Studies show that when taken regularly, Valtrex drastically reduces the chances of passing the virus on to your partner. If you are dating outside of the herpes community, you should make it a point to take your meds on a daily basis as prescribed.

5. Always use protection: It is important to note that the herpes simplex virus can be passed on even when you use condoms. Since the primary form of transmission is through skin to skin contact, if you have surface level shedding in a place not covered by a condom – you are still contagious. It is also important to remind you that both genital and oral herpes can be transmitted during oral sex. With those things said, using condoms is still a “must”. Condoms combined with suppressive therapy reduce the transmission rate to less than 2-3%

Now these five tips are just a few of the ways to make dating those without herpes less stressful, the other alternative is to explore your dating options amongst the herpes community. Although the disease is still taboo and demonized, there is a rather large online dating community out there just waiting to meet you! Positive Singles is one of the premiere herpes dating sites.

Have you struggled with relationships since being diagnosed with genital herpes? Herpes doesn’t signal the end of your love life. As managing editor of YouGotHerpes.com, I give practical tips and advice on how to have a fulfilling and meaningful love life after herpes.

by: Savannah Francis

Additional Reading:

Positive Single – Support site for herpes members.

Stop Herpes Now and From Coming Back For Good by Dr David Hoggs

Cold Sore Freedom in 3 days by Grace Melgarejo

Cold sores are characterized by facial lesions on the lips or around the mouth. Their medical name is Herpes labialis and they were once considered to be a ‘kissing disease’. The news they are suffering from herpes is often very scary to a person, but they need to be aware that there are two types of herpes. Type One is typically seen above the waistline, and type two below the waistline. Therefore the cold sores around the mouth are not a good indicator of the presence of genital herpes.

Herpes Labialis is unlike a regular infection in that the appearance of facial lesions is not a result of recent exposure to Herpes germs, but rather a reactivation of some of the herpes virus that has been lying dormant in the body. These dormant virus particles may have been lying around the body inactive for some time so clearly kissing, or any other contact activity, cannot be the cause of the facial lesions that we know as cold sores.

When a person is initially exposed to the virus which causes cold sores it is known as ‘primary herpetic stomatitis’. The initial exposure can be as a result of direct contact, such as kissing. The symptoms are quite different from cold sores and include:

* Fever, headaches and irritability as well as pain when swallowing.
* Swollen gums
* Painful mouth
* Tiny blisters throughout the mouth, these will usually rupture by the third day forming ulcers.

Many people cannot remember any of these symptoms, and this is hardly surprising considering that most people who contract the virus do so before the age of seven. Even then nearly every case is ’subclinical’, meaning it is never serious enough to be referred to a doctor, so is allowed to run it’s course(usually an infection lasts 10-14 days) and then forgotten.

Roughly 80% of the population is thought to carry the primary herpetic stomatitis antibody. The body only produces the antibody in defense against the virus itself, and in all cases once the virus is present particles will remain. Of that 80% however, only a small number(about one third) will have the virus reactivate and get cold sores. Some of the triggers which can serve to reactivate the virus are:

* When the victim is emotionally upset or under stress.
* Physical stress, tiredness or fatigue.
* Recent illness such as a cold or flu.
* Damage to the lips or skin, including severe chapping, sun or wind burn.
* Changes in hormone levels such as those seen during menstruation or pregnancy
* A deficiency in the immune system

In other words an outbreak is more likely to occur whenever the bodies immune system is working sub-optimally or has been heavily taxed fighting off another problem.

Beverley A Brooke

Stop Herpes Now and From Coming Back For Good by Dr David Hoggs

Positive Single – Support site for herpes members.

Cold Sore Freedom in 3 days by Grace Melgarejo

Dating with herpes can be very stressful, and as you know – stress is the last thing you need because it can cause those outbreaks! Because of this, many single people with herpes have purposely reduced themselves to a life of celibacy and shy away from new relationships. Just because you’re infected with oral or genital herpes, that does not mean that you need to lead the life of a hermit crab!

An estimated fifty million adults in America are infected by the herpes simplex virus and the wide majority of them do not know. This blissful ignorance is the reason why herpes is the fastest growing sexually transmitted diseases amongst young adults. Now chances are those stats don’t make you feel any better about your situation, but it is important to realize that you are not alone. Although you should not feel limited to dating strictly within the herpes community, doing so is a great way to help eliminate some of the stresses you may feel when you think about dating people who do not have herpes.

Thanks to the resourcefulness that the internet provides, there are online dating and personal sites for just about everyone under the sun. Be you white, black, tall, short, Jewish or Christian, there’s a dating website that caters to you. This same thing goes for people infected with oral and genital herpes! Yup, there are dozens of herpes dating websites.

PositiveSingles, MPwH and STDDate are amongst the most popular. They provide a safe place for people with the virus to come together and interact without fear of judgment or ridicule. No matter what you decide to do, just don’t take yourself out of the dating game. Don’t allow the disease to take away your opportunity for love.

Have you struggled with relationships since being diagnosed with genital herpes? Herpes doesn’t signal the end of your love life. As managing editor of YouGotHerpes.com, Savannah Francis gives practical tips and advice on how to have a fulfilling and meaningful love life after herpes. For the best tips on dating with herpes, visit us today at Herpes  dating sites.

By Savannah Francis

Additional Reading:

Stop Herpes Now and From Coming Back For Good by Dr David Hoggs

Positive Single – Support site for herpes members.

Dating with herpes is a difficult topic for most people who have it to talk about. When you first come down with herpes, at first you probably feel like you’ll never be able to date again. The harsh news of a confirmed diagnosis can be very difficult for many people to deal with, and reactions vary. Some people get angry at the person who gave them the disease. Others spend weeks trying to figure out where they got it. Many people get depressed, and go into a funk, thinking that their love life is ruined forever. But dating with herpes is not only possible, millions of people are doing it.

The first thing to keep in mind is that one out of four people in the United States have genital herpes. So you’re far from being alone. Most of them are able to date successfully, even though at first they were just as devastated as you were by the news of their herpes infection. The second thing to keep in mind is that you’ll need to be honest and upfront with every person you date about the fact that you’re carrying the virus. This doesn’t mean you have to tell every person who’s interested in you, or every one you go out with about the disease on your first date or conversation with them. That’s not necessary. But it does mean that if things progress further, that you have a moral obligation to let them know before you get intimate with them.

Third, with one in four adults in America having herpes, there is a big market for dating solutions for people with the virus. One of the best ones to come along was the creation of dating and social sites and organizations only for people who already have herpes. This may be the ideal solution for you. It has been for tens of thousands of people, who have used these websites and organizations to find the romance and love they once thought they would never experience again. Dating with herpes doesn’t have to mean living a lonely, loveless site. It just means doing things a little bit differently from now on.

By Lisa Beache

Lisa provides information about spotting the signs of genital herpes through her website on Genital Herpes.

Additional Reading:

Positive Single – Support site for herpes members.

Having an STD like herpes can make you feel like you are separated from the rest of the world. Catching herpes after being launched into the dating scene can be a great discouragement. Singles with herpes are many in the world and you should not feel alone in any way. You can join herpes support groups for friendship and support.There are a growing number of people living with herpes all over the world. This has led to invention of new industry which is Internet dating web sites for people with herpes. It is actually amazing that one in four women is infected with herpes and one in six men is also infected. Once you get over the shock of being diagnosed with herpes you should go online. You will feel so consoled because the number of sites for people living with STD is very high.

Singles with herpes have found solid comfort through online dating sites. Craig who is a single professional man from North Carolina ended up with herpes. Talking to only one person and telling him/her about what how he was feeling was good enough but when he joined a dating site he found more than 500 people to talk to. They were all living with herpes but just like him, they were decent people. They provided support and other services that were very useful to him. It feels good to talk to people who understand what you are going through. In these dating sites, all the members are infected and therefore they are more than willing to listen to your story and set you free in more than one way.

Dating for singles with herpes is not as easy like for singles with cancer or diabetes. The fact that herpes is a sexually transmitted disease makes a lot of people to become opinionated. You might be educated with a masters degree, good money but it is hard to enjoy a good relationship with a person who knows your status. If you are dating a person who is not infected it is quite hard to tell the right time to disclose your status. In the dating sites you are advised on when and how to tell a prospective girlfriend/boyfriend about herpes. It is one of the greatest ethical problems experienced by most people. Whenever Jennifer would tell men that she was dating with herpes, all prospective men would run in the opposite direction.

Spreading a disease is not something most of us want to do unless you do not fear guilty trips. The beauty about herpes dating sites is that all the members have the disease therefore you do not have to worry about spreading it to other people. Most new members feel nervous about joining the site since it is usually their first time to disclose their status or talk about it openly. Whenever a support group is organized many are nervous to enter through the door and some even go back on reaching the entrance. Singles with herpes appreciate the support groups and one of the organizers confessed that she usually receives flowers after the party.

Additional Reading:

Stop Herpes Now and From Coming Back For Good by Dr David Hoggs

Positive Single – Support site for herpes member.

Genital herpes is one of the most common sexually transmitted diseases in the United States. Many people who are infected with HSV-2 are not even aware that they are infected. Most people do not show signs or symptoms from HSV-1 or HSV-2 infection – or the symptoms are very mild.

When signs of genital herpes do occur, they typically appear as outbreaks of blisters on or around the genital or rectal area. The blisters break, leaving tender sores that may take two to four weeks to heal the first time they occur. Another outbreak can appear weeks or months after the first, but it is usually less severe and shorter than the first outbreak. Though the herpes infection remains in the body indefinitely, the number of outbreaks tends to decrease over time.

After a person learns of their genital herpes diagnosis and finds out that it is an incurable, life-long condition, s/he may be concerned about what this means about current or future sexual relationships.

In regards to future sexual relationships, people who have genital herpes can experience normal sexual relationships despite their diagnosis. There are things that an infected person must do to insure that they do not put any future partners at risk of contracting the genital herpes. Keep in mind that abstinence is the only guaranteed way to prevent a sexual partner from contracting herpes.

For casual or short-term sexual relationships, use latex condoms to help lessen the likelihood of contracting genital herpes as well as a wide range of sexually transmitted infections. Avoid direct genital skin-to-skin contact during a herpes outbreak, as this is the time the virus is most likely to be passed on. Wearing a condom will not completely prevent transmission during an outbreak, as the virus may be present on the surrounding genital area.

In regards to a long-term relationships where both partners are knowledgeable of the genital herpes infection and the risk of transmission, for the couple to decide not to use a condom.

In both cases of casual sexual partners and long-term relationships, the issue of how to tell a partner that you have genital herpes arises. It is common to think that any current or future sexual partner will reject you once they learn of your herpes diagnosis; however, most genital herpes infected people find that their partners are supportive of them and appreciate the courage it took to reveal their diagnosis.

If you are diagnosed with genital herpes while in a relationship, your partner may think that this is a sign of infidelity. However, because of the nature of the virus, you could have had it long before your relationship. Or, even still, it is possible that your partner never experienced symptoms from a herpes infection and transmitted the virus to you-and you are one of the few individuals who develop symptoms of the infection. It is best to talk to a physician once you reveal your infection to a partner so that all of these concerns can be addressed.

At any rate, it is important to tell your partner of your condition, it shows them that you are a responsible partner who cares about your sexual health and the sexual health of your partner. Your partner may also choose to be tested.

Regardless of their test results, in order to keep your sex life as normal as possible, you may want to look into treatments that will reduce the frequency, duration and severity of outbreaks, as well as maintain a healthy diet and avoid stressful situations which may trigger outbreaks. The healthier lifestyle you lead, the less genital herpes will be an issue in your sex life.

Dylan Morris

Dylan Morris is a freelance writer and supporter of nutraceuticals, natural, herbal treatments for disease control and prevention. Visit http://herpaflor.com/ for more information.

Additional Reading:

Stop Herpes Now and From Coming Back For Good by Dr David Hoggs

This is a common scenario, “I found out I had genital herpes in January. My boyfriend got a blood test and he tested negative. Recently, we broke up . I’m sure I’m not ready to start dating again yet, but when I am I’m not sure how to go about it. I know I have to tell my partners and I will continue to be careful. Can I date those who don’t have herpes? Will they be willing to date me?”

Many people with herpes have similar experience at the beginning. The following information shows you how you can unlock your own natural confidence and strength so you feel really comfortable giving ‘The Talk’. Now that you know you have genital herpes, you’re out of the dating game, right? Absolutely not. There’s no reason to stop looking for love and fun.

Genital herpes doesn’t detract from your many desirable qualities, which have drawn people to you in the past and will continue to make you a great catch.

Broaching the Topic of Genital Herpes

The first date after your diagnosis may seem a little strange, however. If you hope to be sexually intimate with your date at some point, you may feel like you’re keeping a nasty secret. If you are one to be candid with people, you’ll want to blurt it out. Don’t. There are some things you should reveal about yourself right away – for example, that you’re married, or that you’re just in town for the week – but some things are better left for the appropriate moment.

It’s up to you to decide the right time to tell your date that you have genital herpes. Follow two rules: First, don’t wait until after having sex. Second, don’t wait until you’re just about to have sex — in which case the attraction may be too strong for either of you to think rationally and act responsibly.

If in the past you tended to start a new relationship with sex, you now might want to change your approach. It might be better to break the news about your herpes to someone who has already grown attached to you. Kissing, cuddling, and fondling are safe, so you don’t have to tell before you do that. But use your best judgment as to how physically intimate you want to get before telling. One thing could lead to another, and you might find yourself in an awkward situation.

Dealing With Rejection Anyone who dates should be prepared for rejection. The person you’re seeing may beat a hasty retreat when he or she finds out about your genital herpes. If you get the “I just want to be friends” talk after telling your sweetheart you have herpes, consider this: He or she may have already been looking for a way out, and herpes was as good an excuse as any. What’s more, anyone who disdains you or humiliates you for having herpes was never worth your while.

Keep dating, and you will find someone who wants to be with you regardless of your herpes status. There are certainly some who wouldn’t mind keeping the intimacy level just short of doing things that could transmit the virus. And of those people, it’s likely that at least one will come around, and say, “Hey, I understand there’s a risk, but I’m crazy about you, so I’m willing to take it.”

Depending on your dating style, you might date people with herpes, if you want to avoid having to discuss it. Herpes doesn’t define you, but judgmental people will make judgmental decisions.On the herpes dating sites, you do not worry about being rejected or discriminated, but often find understanding and comforting. Check reviews of the top Herpes Dating Sites, see which Online Dating Site is best for you.

By David H Smith David H Smith is a life coach. He has created Herpes Dating Help as a uniquely practical life coaching service, introducing you to those changes you can make that will help you to feel relaxed about herpes, maintain and grow your self confidence.

Additional Reading:

PositiveSingles for more support from herpes sufferers