So you’ve been single with herpes for a little while, none of your friends are aware of the fact that you have herpes – but insist that it’s time for you to get out and start dating again. Being the caring friends that they are, they set you up on a blind date. Now in your mind, this is the worst thing that could possibly happen – however you decide to go on this date anyway as to not embarrass your friends. The date seems to be progressing well, but now you are faced with one question – should you tell your date that you have herpes?

First, let’s get a few herpes facts out of the way:

1. Herpes is spread through skin to skin contact, this includes kissing as well. If you have herpes of the mouth, you can spread it by kissing.

2. Herpes can be spread even when you show no outward signs of an outbreak.

3. Herpes of the mouth can be transmitted to the genitals during oral sex.

Now that you have been reminded of how herpes is spread, let’s answer the question of how and if you should tell your date. Although the herpes virus poses no threat to life, the disease is still very much misunderstood and demonized. Herpes is often the butt of the joke amongst the younger generations and this can make disclosing your status very uncomfortable. Unless and until you are very comfortable with the fact that you have herpes, it is not necessary to out yourself on the first date.

Before you consider telling a potential new partner about your herpes status there are a few things that you may want to think about:

1. Trust: Can you trust this person? No matter how comfortable you are with your herpes situation, not everyone needs to know that you are infected with the virus. If you tell this person, can you trust that they will keep it in confidence and not try to humiliate you amongst mutual friends or strangers?

2. Is there a future: Even though it’s just a first date, you have to ask yourself if you really see any future dates with this person. If you’re pretty certain that there won’t be any more dates, then save yourself the trouble. However if you believe there will be multiple dates afterward know that you will eventually need to tell your new friend about your oral or genital herpes.

Not every date leads to a relationship or intimacy, so you should not feel compelled to talk about herpes until you have really confirmed whether or not there is any long term potential. If the idea of dating outside of the herpes community scares you – there are dozens of online herpes dating sites available. Visit herpes dating advice today for more tips.

Additional Reading:

Positive Single – Support site for herpes members.

Stop Herpes Now and From Coming Back For Good by Dr David Hoggs

Dating someone with herpes might be a little off particularly to those who do not have herpes at all. But how do you exactly know if you have herpes or not? According to studies, almost 90% of herpes infected individuals do not exactly have the awareness that they already incurred the disease. Since mild herpes do not actually have symptoms, unless the outbreak comes out or you have yourself tested, this will be the only time you will know you have one.

As herpes can be transmitted in many different ways, the big question falls on this? “Is it safe to date someone with herpes”? In actual fact, dating someone with herpes requires the identification of the severity of the disease itself. Although it is awkward to ask someone concerning this type of infection, a thin line between taking heed and curing herpes and those people that do not provide treatments at all will all determine the disparities.

If someone you are dating has herpes for a long period of time and is undergoing medical treatments, doing the deed with a protection will somehow make a difference weigh against sleeping with someone who doesn’t have an inkling of having herpes and definitely is not doing anything to cure it.

Dating someone with herpes need not be a big issue. Even if this disease is tagged along with a dim-witted stigma for it being a form of a sexually transmitted disease, do you think you have laid yourself open to greater risk without the discernment between sleeping with a person curing herpes and the one who have unconsciously acquired the disease without providing any treatments at all? You choose.

Additional Reading:

Positive Single – Support site for herpes members.

If you or your partner has herpes, the issue of what’s safe and what isn’t in the bedroom can be a confusing one. You will likely read all manner of different ideas and statistics on transmission rates, male versus female infection likelihood, the safety and failure rates of condoms, dental dams, and suppression therapy. The real truth is you can never be 100 percent protected from an infected partner passing herpes on to a non infected partner, but with some common sense and a little forethought before intimacy, you can drastically reduce the risk and a herpes sufferer can still enjoy a fulfilling sex life with a non infected partner.

The first thing to know about having sex during herpes outbreak is, it is not recommended. When you are having an outbreak you are much more likely to shed the virus and pass it on to your partner. Having sex between genital herpes outbreaks is much safer. However if having sex during an outbreak does not pose issues of irritation or soreness to you, or maybe your outbreaks are very frequent, or whatever reason you choose to have relations during an outbreak, here’s how you can reduce the risk.

Firstly, ensure proper protection is used. This means a well fitted condom or a strong dental dam, and be sure to check periodically to make sure it hasn’t slipped or torn during lovemaking. Condoms and dams don’t offer 100 percent protection, but can certainly reduce the risk dramatically.

Secondly, ensure the infected partner is taking a daily antiviral suppressive drug, and has kept up with dosage. These drugs reduce shedding significantly, and combined with the condom or dam, reduce the risk of transmission further.

Thirdly, remember there’s more to sex than penetration. If you are having a flare up, there’s more options for sex during herpes than just vaginal sex. Try mutual masturbation, sex toys, or if the infected partner doesn’t have oral sores, he or she can safely perform oral sex on the other partner.

Overall, remember sex during an outbreak is not recommended, and adds significant risk of transmitting the virus. However, if both partners understand the risk and take the above precautions, the risk can be reduced, and you can enjoy sex during herpes.

Additional Reading:

Stop Herpes Now and From Coming Back For Good by Dr David Hoggs

Cold Sore Freedom in 3 days by Grace Melgarejo

Positive Single – Support site for herpes members.

As you know, there is no cure to the herpes simplex virus. Although the virus is not deadly or particularly dangerous – it is still incurable. Disclosing your status to any potential sexual partner is a must. There are many within the herpes community who do not feel comfortable dating outside of the “group” – however when dating people who do not have herpes, there are a few things that you can and should do to protect them.

1. Be honest about your outbreaks: Nothing ruins spontaneity like an annoying herpes outbreak! You should consider yourself highly contagious when you are experiencing an outbreak, so it is best to refrain from intercourse during these times.

2. Pay attention to your prodrome symptoms: Part of being honest about your outbreaks involves you knowing when they actually occur. Due to the fact that they aren’t always visible or noticeable – keep track of the symptoms you have immediately before an active outbreak. In other words, are your glands and lymph nodes tender? Do you have any body aches? Abnormal itching? A tingling sensation near your outbreak sites? Knowing your symptoms will give you a better idea of when you may be shedding.

3. Eat healthy: Many people with herpes report increase in outbreaks when they eat certain foods. It is widely known that things like peanuts, caffeine, and even wine can cause the dormant virus to make it’s way to the surface. If certain foods are your triggers, try to avoid them or find alternatives.

4. Take a form of suppressive therapy: We’re sure you’ve seen the cheesy Valtrex commercials – where one person in the couple has herpes, and the other person has not – and it’s been that way for years! As cheesy as they may be, there is an element in truth behind the commercial and the product itself. Studies show that when taken regularly, Valtrex drastically reduces the chances of passing the virus on to your partner. If you are dating outside of the herpes community, you should make it a point to take your meds on a daily basis as prescribed.

5. Always use protection: It is important to note that the herpes simplex virus can be passed on even when you use condoms. Since the primary form of transmission is through skin to skin contact, if you have surface level shedding in a place not covered by a condom – you are still contagious. It is also important to remind you that both genital and oral herpes can be transmitted during oral sex. With those things said, using condoms is still a “must”. Condoms combined with suppressive therapy reduce the transmission rate to less than 2-3%

Now these five tips are just a few of the ways to make dating those without herpes less stressful, the other alternative is to explore your dating options amongst the herpes community. Although the disease is still taboo and demonized, there is a rather large online dating community out there just waiting to meet you! Positive Singles is one of the premiere herpes dating sites.

Have you struggled with relationships since being diagnosed with genital herpes? Herpes doesn’t signal the end of your love life. As managing editor of YouGotHerpes.com, I give practical tips and advice on how to have a fulfilling and meaningful love life after herpes.

by: Savannah Francis

Additional Reading:

Positive Single – Support site for herpes members.

Stop Herpes Now and From Coming Back For Good by Dr David Hoggs

Cold Sore Freedom in 3 days by Grace Melgarejo