When you come to terms with your herpes diagnosis, you’ll really need to make a decision about what treatment options you will utilize. If you are single, and intend to date people without herpes – this is doubly important.

As you know, there is no cure to the herpes simplex virus. Although the virus is not deadly or particularly dangerous – it is still incurable. Disclosing your status to any potential sexual partner is a must. There are many within the herpes community who do not feel comfortable dating outside of the “group” – however when dating people who do not have herpes, there are a few things that you can and should do to protect them.

1. Be honest about your outbreaks: Nothing ruins spontaneity like an annoying herpes outbreak! You should consider yourself highly contagious when you are experiencing an outbreak, so it is best to refrain from intercourse during these times.

2. Pay attention to your prodrome symptoms: Part of being honest about your outbreaks involves you knowing when they actually occur. Due to the fact that they aren’t always visible or noticeable – keep track of the symptoms you have immediately before an active outbreak. In other words, are your glands and lymph nodes tender? Do you have any body aches? Abnormal itching? A tingling sensation near your outbreak sites? Knowing your symptoms will give you a better idea of when you may be shedding.

3. Eat healthy: Many people with herpes report increase in outbreaks when they eat certain foods. It is widely known that things like peanuts, caffeine, and even wine can cause the dormant virus to make it’s way to the surface. If certain foods are your triggers, try to avoid them or find alternatives.

4. Take a form of suppressive therapy: We’re sure you’ve seen the cheesy Valtrex commercials – where one person in the couple has herpes, and the other person has not – and it’s been that way for years! As cheesy as they may be, there is an element in truth behind the commercial and the product itself. Studies show that when taken regularly, Valtrex drastically reduces the chances of passing the virus on to your partner. If you are dating outside of the herpes community, you should make it a point to take your meds on a daily basis as prescribed.

5. Always use protection: It is important to note that the herpes simplex virus can be passed on even when you use condoms. Since the primary form of transmission is through skin to skin contact, if you have surface level shedding in a place not covered by a condom – you are still contagious. It is also important to remind you that both genital and oral herpes can be transmitted during oral sex. With those things said, using condoms is still a “must”. Condoms combined with suppressive therapy reduce the transmission rate to less than 2-3%

Now these five tips are just a few of the ways to make dating those without herpes less stressful, the other alternative is to explore your dating options amongst the herpes community. Although the disease is still taboo and demonized, there is a rather large online dating community out there just waiting to meet you! Positive Singles is one of the premiere herpes dating sites.

Have you struggled with relationships since being diagnosed with genital herpes? Herpes doesn’t signal the end of your love life. As managing editor of YouGotHerpes.com, I give practical tips and advice on how to have a fulfilling and meaningful love life after herpes.

by: Savannah Francis

Additional Reading:

Positive Single – Support site for herpes members.

Stop Herpes Now and From Coming Back For Good by Dr David Hoggs

Cold Sore Freedom in 3 days by Grace Melgarejo

Genital herpes is one of the most common sexually transmitted diseases in the United States. Many people who are infected with HSV-2 are not even aware that they are infected. Most people do not show signs or symptoms from HSV-1 or HSV-2 infection – or the symptoms are very mild.

When signs of genital herpes do occur, they typically appear as outbreaks of blisters on or around the genital or rectal area. The blisters break, leaving tender sores that may take two to four weeks to heal the first time they occur. Another outbreak can appear weeks or months after the first, but it is usually less severe and shorter than the first outbreak. Though the herpes infection remains in the body indefinitely, the number of outbreaks tends to decrease over time.

After a person learns of their genital herpes diagnosis and finds out that it is an incurable, life-long condition, s/he may be concerned about what this means about current or future sexual relationships.

In regards to future sexual relationships, people who have genital herpes can experience normal sexual relationships despite their diagnosis. There are things that an infected person must do to insure that they do not put any future partners at risk of contracting the genital herpes. Keep in mind that abstinence is the only guaranteed way to prevent a sexual partner from contracting herpes.

For casual or short-term sexual relationships, use latex condoms to help lessen the likelihood of contracting genital herpes as well as a wide range of sexually transmitted infections. Avoid direct genital skin-to-skin contact during a herpes outbreak, as this is the time the virus is most likely to be passed on. Wearing a condom will not completely prevent transmission during an outbreak, as the virus may be present on the surrounding genital area.

In regards to a long-term relationships where both partners are knowledgeable of the genital herpes infection and the risk of transmission, for the couple to decide not to use a condom.

In both cases of casual sexual partners and long-term relationships, the issue of how to tell a partner that you have genital herpes arises. It is common to think that any current or future sexual partner will reject you once they learn of your herpes diagnosis; however, most genital herpes infected people find that their partners are supportive of them and appreciate the courage it took to reveal their diagnosis.

If you are diagnosed with genital herpes while in a relationship, your partner may think that this is a sign of infidelity. However, because of the nature of the virus, you could have had it long before your relationship. Or, even still, it is possible that your partner never experienced symptoms from a herpes infection and transmitted the virus to you-and you are one of the few individuals who develop symptoms of the infection. It is best to talk to a physician once you reveal your infection to a partner so that all of these concerns can be addressed.

At any rate, it is important to tell your partner of your condition, it shows them that you are a responsible partner who cares about your sexual health and the sexual health of your partner. Your partner may also choose to be tested.

Regardless of their test results, in order to keep your sex life as normal as possible, you may want to look into treatments that will reduce the frequency, duration and severity of outbreaks, as well as maintain a healthy diet and avoid stressful situations which may trigger outbreaks. The healthier lifestyle you lead, the less genital herpes will be an issue in your sex life.

Dylan Morris

Dylan Morris is a freelance writer and supporter of nutraceuticals, natural, herbal treatments for disease control and prevention. Visit http://herpaflor.com/ for more information.

Additional Reading:

Stop Herpes Now and From Coming Back For Good by Dr David Hoggs

This is a common scenario, “I found out I had genital herpes in January. My boyfriend got a blood test and he tested negative. Recently, we broke up . I’m sure I’m not ready to start dating again yet, but when I am I’m not sure how to go about it. I know I have to tell my partners and I will continue to be careful. Can I date those who don’t have herpes? Will they be willing to date me?”

Many people with herpes have similar experience at the beginning. The following information shows you how you can unlock your own natural confidence and strength so you feel really comfortable giving ‘The Talk’. Now that you know you have genital herpes, you’re out of the dating game, right? Absolutely not. There’s no reason to stop looking for love and fun.

Genital herpes doesn’t detract from your many desirable qualities, which have drawn people to you in the past and will continue to make you a great catch.

Broaching the Topic of Genital Herpes

The first date after your diagnosis may seem a little strange, however. If you hope to be sexually intimate with your date at some point, you may feel like you’re keeping a nasty secret. If you are one to be candid with people, you’ll want to blurt it out. Don’t. There are some things you should reveal about yourself right away – for example, that you’re married, or that you’re just in town for the week – but some things are better left for the appropriate moment.

It’s up to you to decide the right time to tell your date that you have genital herpes. Follow two rules: First, don’t wait until after having sex. Second, don’t wait until you’re just about to have sex — in which case the attraction may be too strong for either of you to think rationally and act responsibly.

If in the past you tended to start a new relationship with sex, you now might want to change your approach. It might be better to break the news about your herpes to someone who has already grown attached to you. Kissing, cuddling, and fondling are safe, so you don’t have to tell before you do that. But use your best judgment as to how physically intimate you want to get before telling. One thing could lead to another, and you might find yourself in an awkward situation.

Dealing With Rejection Anyone who dates should be prepared for rejection. The person you’re seeing may beat a hasty retreat when he or she finds out about your genital herpes. If you get the “I just want to be friends” talk after telling your sweetheart you have herpes, consider this: He or she may have already been looking for a way out, and herpes was as good an excuse as any. What’s more, anyone who disdains you or humiliates you for having herpes was never worth your while.

Keep dating, and you will find someone who wants to be with you regardless of your herpes status. There are certainly some who wouldn’t mind keeping the intimacy level just short of doing things that could transmit the virus. And of those people, it’s likely that at least one will come around, and say, “Hey, I understand there’s a risk, but I’m crazy about you, so I’m willing to take it.”

Depending on your dating style, you might date people with herpes, if you want to avoid having to discuss it. Herpes doesn’t define you, but judgmental people will make judgmental decisions.On the herpes dating sites, you do not worry about being rejected or discriminated, but often find understanding and comforting. Check reviews of the top Herpes Dating Sites, see which Online Dating Site is best for you.

By David H Smith David H Smith is a life coach. He has created Herpes Dating Help as a uniquely practical life coaching service, introducing you to those changes you can make that will help you to feel relaxed about herpes, maintain and grow your self confidence.

Additional Reading:

PositiveSingles for more support from herpes sufferers